Three ways to take back control of your feelings
Have you ever felt like you’re on an emotional rollercoaster?
Like you can’t get a hold of your feelings? Well you’re not alone.
Maybe you even caught yourself uttering the words…
“That person made me feel so…”
Although you might truly believe others are at fault, by not taking responsibility for your feelings you become at the mercy of other people. And that’s just not fair on you.
So, don’t let others determine whether you’re happy or sad, don’t let those bastards who cut you off in traffic throw off your whole day, and certainly don’t let your friends complaining suck you in to their whinge fest.
Because when you do let others dictate how you feel - you give up your power. You deserve to live the life you want, and that’s possible, but only if you’re willing to take back control of your feelings.
“I cannot always control what goes on outside. But I can always control what goes on inside”. - Wayne Dyer
So here are three ways you can start to control what goes on inside…
Develop the ability to quieten your mind. Meditation helps you create 3 things in your mind –
It really works - I’m proof that it works! I have been using meditation as a tool for a few years now. I can now choose how I want to respond to people and situations rather than react emotionally. This is such an empowering state to be in...having control over your feelings!
Meditation doesn’t have to be complicated…you don’t even have to sit on the floor with your legs crossed.
Here are the 3 simple steps to breath focused meditation -
Step 1 – Sit still
Step 2 – Breathe normally
Step 3 – Focus on your breath
Start with 2 minutes a day and build up from there (absolute maximum of 20 minutes, twice a day).
I do 15-20 minutes as part of my morning routine.
2. Be aware
Become aware of your behavioural patterns. Start to become conscious of the feelings you tend to default to…
Are you quick to anger?
Do you get offended easily?
Or maybe you tend to judge harshly.
Ask yourself where in your body you feel this feeling…
Is it a heavy or a light feeling?
Is a pleasant or unpleasant feeling?
Then, decide if this feeling is helping you to create the fulfilling life you desire.
The good news is if it’s not helping you, you can let that feeling go.
I know…easier said than done…but with practice it’s possible.
3. Break the pattern
The good news is that once you are aware of your patterns, you then have the ability to break any patterns that may not be serving you.
In my experience a lot of people are not aware of their patterns.
The problem is that without awareness you can’t change anything.
So, now you know your patterns…how do you break them?
By remaining present, consistent and persistent.
The ability to be present and in the moment will help you to make more conscious decisions and remain in a logical state rather than reacting emotionally.
Be consistent with catching yourself falling into those old patterns. Then replace the feeling by changing the meaning of what was said or done to something that will serve you better. Because as Tony Robbins said, “Nothing in life has meaning except the meaning you give it”.
Be persistent. It’s like strengthening a muscle…you need to be persistent in the application to get results.
Being able to understand and choose your feelings is essential to having a great relationship not only with others but also with yourself.
For more on how to be happy right now check out my other blog –
Just remember…you have the power to create new feelings…ones that feel good!
I’d love to hear how you go with taking back control of your feelings, so leave a comment below or drop me an email.